Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Slow to Anger

I think we've all been in these rather uncomfortable're in a store or business and a child is misbehaving. Suddenly, the parent loudly loses control of their emotions and blows up at the kid, yelling at them for misbehaving, threatening them if they don't instantly stop what they're doing, etc. Somehow, to me at least, no matter HOW terribly the kid was acting, my first thought is "oh that poor thing...what a horrible mom/dad!" I know there are lots of other circumstances that come into play which we, the casual observers, know nothing about, but still. We are the ADULTS!! We are supposed to be a good example to our children instead of giving up and screaming at them in anger.

I've always purposed to never be one of "those" parents whom you can hear all the way across the store yelling at their kids for whatever reason. Recently I had a chance to put it to the test...Kaleigh was playing with some toys in a kids' area while I shopped in a consignment store. When it was time to leave I helped her pick up the toys, and then picked her up to carry her out of the store. Her body instantly went rigid and she SCREAMED!!!! I plastered a smile on my face and scurried out trying to save face in front of the other people in the store. When I got to the car, she continued to scream and kick as I pleasantly strapped her into her car seat. When I finally got into my seat, I just sat there for a minute...and I realized that I hadn't gotten angry! I wasn't pleased with her behavior, and I was slightly embarrassed, but I wasn't angry at her. I somehow felt like I had won a victory over myself, even tho I DO need to do some work with Kaleigh about her little attitude!

While I was thinking about this subject, I did a search for verses containing "slow" and "anger." I came up with at least 6 verses in which God is described as being slow to anger...for example, read Nehemiah 9:16-17 - "(16) But they and our fathers dealt proudly, and hardened their necks, and hearkened not to thy commandments, (17) And refused to obey, neither were mindful of thy wonders that thou didst among them; but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a captain to return to their bondage: but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not."

I don't know about you, but had I been in God's place (having spent over 40 years leading an ungrateful, whining, complaining, demanding, unfaithful, disobedient nation around the desert) I probably would have decided enough was enough and just blasted them all to bits!!! However, God in His great mercy is so patient and kind with ALL of us as we stumble, fall back into sin, demand things of Him, and lead ungrateful lives. "It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not." (Lamentations 3:22)

So from now on in my parenting, I am going to try to show patience, mercy, and kindness to Kaleigh and any other children the Lord may give us, in an attempt to reflect the loving way our Father deals with us. I know that children can be VERY disobedient, destructive, and frustrating (and I still believe that loving, Godly discipline should be administered as necessary!!), but we as parents need to temper our actions with love and grace. I really think that this applies to all people in all situations!! Just think what a better place this world would be if everyone stopped before they reacted in anger, and instead chose to be forgiving and gracious?! "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) I know that will never happen world-wide because the world is an imperfect and sinful place, but we as Christians should be doing our best to show the rest of the world the love of Christ, and I think our parenting is one place we could really make an impact!! If they see our children misbehaving and then they see us blow up in anger, how are we any different than every other unsaved parent?! Instead, we should be showing them a better way...God's way.

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" (I Peter 3:15)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Proposal {Guest Post}

Ha, ha. That title got your attention, didn't it? Well, true, that is what the subject is about, but it may take a different path then you expected. I have been going through the Book of Ruth in a Bible Study with some women, and this week is focusing on the PROPOSAL between Boaz and Ruth.

As I had told my husband (of all times, when he was proposing to me), I felt just the only right way for a guy to ask a girl to be his wife is when he's on one knee. I realize that process isn't the most common thing people do now-a-days, and it often isn't practical providing the observers, location, etc., but it was always just my dream and how I imagined things going. In the study of Ruth this week, her proposal went uhm.... just the wrong way for me!

Let me quickly summarize how things went. Naomi (her mother-in-law from her deceased husband) instructed Ruth to do a list of things:

1) Wash

2) Anoint

3) Dress

4) Lie down

5) See where Boaz slept

6) Uncover his feet

7) Lie down

8) Follow the instructions her then gave

"Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor (after he's done eating and drinking...) uncover his feet, and lay thee down..." Ruth 3:3-4

Now, as much as I love my husband, it is very hard for me (even at his request) to take his shoes/socks off after a long day at work and rub his feet. What Ruth did was (remembering Boaz had come from a long day of outside work), uncover his feet, and SLEEP NEXT TO THEM. (It is suggested in this devotional book that Ruth probably had a hard time sleeping because of the trepidation or excitement she had. For me it

would have been the smell.)

My personal thoughts laid aside for a minute, it was a process she was willing to take that showed her humility, something I am sorely in need of. It was a gesture availing herself and trusting him immensely, so they would both remain pure.

Before this event, she had shown her female relative (Naomi) love, respect and care. (She had been gathering wheat to make and sell bread to buy food for meals.) During this event, she was showing a distant male relative pure love and respect. The most distant relative I can think on personally at the moment, are my cousins.

Again, I mean nothing against them as well, but there is absolutely no way on earth that I could muster up enough humility to not only uncover my cousin's feet after a long day of work, but spend all the horrible hours in the night sleeping at his stinky, sweaty, disgusting feet. I have asked my husband to shower after ONE DAY of mowing the lawn for a few hours. I cannot fathom SLEEPING by the feet of my cousin who has gone who knows how many days/weeks without a bath.

This is a great lesson of pure humility and self-sacrifice. God says in Proverbs 22:4 that "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, and honour, and life." With just this scripture, and just this one biblical example, we are shown ways that humility is to be revered and longed for in our lives. Not to gain a husband, as in the story of Ruth, for he first noticed her meek and humble spirit of service, but humility as a means of service towards others.

-- I know of a few friends who don't respect Ruth, and aside from my thoughts on the issue, whatever you think or believe, please only focus on the humility I see in this example --

By the way, not skipping the topic, the book also shared how in that place and time, this action Ruth gave toward Boaz could be considered a honest-to-goodness marriage proposal.

This guest post was written by Sarah Tate - a young wife and mother. Sarah and her husband are the proud parents of a 1 year old son, and are expecting their second child in December.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Facebook Faceoff (article)

I recently read this article (ironically enough, on Facebook!) and thought it did a really good job of addressing an issue that is becoming HUGE in out society...I'm afraid I'm guilty of spending much more time on the interent doing various things everyday than I spend in prayer, reading my Bible, memorizing, etc. If you're also struggling with this problem, maybe this article will help to shed some light on the subject.

Facebook Faceoff
by Tim Sweetman

This Boundless article first appeared in March 2009.

I couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking as he pulled out his iPhone and took advantage of a new Facebook application — right in the middle of the sermon.

It was then that I realized the narcissistic machine that is Facebook.

Shifting uncomfortably in my chair, I found myself desiring to do the same. I shuddered. Have I really come to this place where I'm more concerned about what's taking place on Facebook than what's going on in this church service? More concerned about a self-serving social networking site than this Bible on my lap?

Later on that evening, I thought more about my internal battle between Facebook and my Bible. I understand that one of my desires as a Christian should be to know God more deeply; the reality is that I spend very little time actually getting to know Him. Too often, my hours are spent pursuing other human beings through convenient electronic means like Facebook. My life can quickly become all about striving to know my buddies better than my Lord.

I struggled with this very battle just yesterday. I woke up early to prepare for an 8:30 a.m. class. The two weeks prior I had spent each morning reading and studying my Bible. But on this day, the first places I went were my blog, Facebook and my e-mail. As the day progressed, I found myself talking to people more through technology than face-to-face. After a few weeks I was losing focus on my goals in life, and focusing on things like my status updates and friends online.

I sit down to finish my paper for class. But instead of opening Word, I open up Firefox, type in the Web address, and check Facebook. Then refresh the page. Then open Word. Then switch back to Gmail. Honestly, my technology can be exhausting.

The signs are everywhere. And I'm growing utterly disgusted with myself. What is wrong with me?

It's not my intention to write a 1,200-word article encouraging others to give up Facebook, social networking, or the Internet. I plan to continue updating my status with random trivialities such as "Tim is attempting to write ... Tim just ate bread with mold ... Tim is heading to the basketball game" and the like. I'm still going to post notes, write on walls, and chat with friends.

But if all of this continues at the expense of getting to know God better, I want to throw it all out. All of it. Drastic, yes, but I've got to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Control and Human Interest

I see two issues at play in the realm of social networking and technology. One is lack of self-control. I should be writing a paper, but I'm online; I should be reading God's Word, but I'm online. The other is a little harder to perceive. It's a notion that holds the words of mere humans as much more interesting to follow than God's Word; the lives of mere humans as much more fun to get to know than God Himself.

Essentially Facebook is just one more thing that has shown me how easily I can lose interest in God's Word, the Bible. The words of J.I Packer come to mind:

How long is it since you read right through the Bible? Do you spend as much time with the Bible each day as you do even with the newspaper? What fools some of us are! — and we remain fools all our lives, simply because we will not take the trouble to do what has to be done to receive the wisdom which is God's free gift. (Knowing God, pp. 101-102)

If I take the newspaper out and insert Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, e-mail andIM ... I likewise "remain a fool." Perhaps even a bigger fool who wastes not just 30 minutes, but hours upon hours a day pouring himself into an often self-serving and ultimately temporary tool.

What puts this whole issue into perspective for me is something I read by Donald Whitney:

Surely we only have to be realistic and honest with ourselves to know how regularly we need to turn to the Bible. How often do we face problems, temptations, and pressure? Every day! Then how often do we need instruction, guidance and greater encouragement? Every day! To catch all these felt needs up into an even greater issue, how often do we need to see God's face, hear his voice, feel his touch, know his power? The answer to all these questions is the same:every day! (Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, p. 33)

I check things like Facebook every day. But do I read my Bible every day? I have to respond with embarrassment and a sinking heart that too often I do not.

Do you realize that tape-recorded readings of the Bible have proven that you can read through the entire Book in seventy-one hours? The average person in the United States watches that much television in less than two weeks. In no more than fifteen minutes a day you can read through the Bible in less than a year's time. (Knowing God, p. 33)

Honestly, I don't think I understand the gravity of my distain of daily time with God. It's not an issue of salvation, of course, but I do think that it's essential to my spiritual health and growth. The thing is, I can spend hours upon hours on the internet browsing Facebook or messing with my electronic devices; I find it absolutely disgusting when this takes the place of God.

What is my true priority in life? I need a serious wake-up call.

How Essential Is It?

I've wondered how important reading the Bible daily really is. Is it just some capricious rule that the Church made up? Or does Scripture convey that we need to cherish God's Word by reading it daily?

The essence of impiety is the proud willfulness of "these wicked people, who refuse to listen to my words" (Jer 13:10). The mark of true humility and godliness, on the other hand, is that a person "trembles at my word" (Is 66:2). (Knowing God, p. 113)

Many times I'll fall into a rut of not taking the Word of God seriously. What does it take to pound it into my thick skull that, if I want to get to know God better (which I claim), I need to head straight to the words He's given me (which I often don't do).

Paul instructs Timothy:

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16)

Scripture is not only profitable for me, but it's absolutely essential in order to be competent and to live my life well. Within those sacred pages I find everything that God has deemed necessary to tell me. There is so much depth and wisdom within those pages. Yet I somehow buy into the lie that the Bible is just boring and not worth my time. How would my life look if I poured myself into the pages of my Bible instead of pouring myself into the pages of Facebook? Radically different, I think.

I struggle with what to write for my status update; how often do I struggle with the great depths of God?

And I'm reminded of my friend checking up on Facebook during the sermon. I don't want to just single him out. I know I've been in the place where I've allowed the things of this world — and online community is too often a mere "thing of this world" — to form habits in my life that push all other things aside, including the attention that should be focused on God and His Word.

You know what? I think I'm finally ready to change that. Today. I think I'm finally ready to take some time away from the ultimately unsatisfying sterility of the Web, to examine the real needs of my heart, and to dive into the invigorating depths of the Word of God.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Be Faithful in the Little Things

Hello. My name is Rachel, and I am a procrastinator.

Whew. There. I said maybe I can start recovering! :)

Joking aside, I am a HORRIBLE procrastinator!! Those of you who know me probably know I can be very organized and neat...when I feel like it. I just don't usually feel like it! I'm not always a good housekeeper, I prefer to wash the laundry and then leave it in a huge mountain instead of folding it and putting it right away, and I'd much rather spend all day reading a book or keeping up with friends on Facebook than spend all day cleaning the house! My husband on the other hand, is the definition of a neat freak ("freak" being used in the best possible sense of the insult intended! :) ). I'm always embarrassed when he comes home at night and the dishes are piled high, the laundry is piled higher, and Kaleigh's toys and books are spread far and wide...but on those occasions, he comes home after a long day of working, grabs the broom and sweeps, picks up all the toys and clutter, and does it all so quietly and cheerfully it makes me feel like a horrible slob. (Don't get me wrong...I DO clean up sometimes, but it seems more often than not that he comes home and does a good chunk of it!) However, I've somehow convinced myself that keeping the whole house cleaned, laundry done, and Kaleigh fed and cared for is more than one little girl like me can handle!

Then last Wednesday night, Pastor had a really good sermon based on Luke 16:10 - "He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in much...." I've known that verse practically all of my life, but somehow when I heard it last week it really hit and convicted me in an entirely NEW way!!! I suddenly realized that my housework, laundry, etc. SEEMED so little and insignificant to me, and it wasn't a big deal in my book if it didn't always get done right away. However, to my husband (who describes his feelings when he walks into a cluttered room as "claustrophobic"!!), that stuff IS a big deal!!! I had been letting him down in one of the areas that was biggest to him, and dismissing it as little and unimportant. Wow. If I can't be faithful in little things like dishes, laundry, dusting, etc., then how do I expect to be faithful in the BIG things, like raising our daughter to be a God-honoring, diligent, faithful woman??!!

OUCH. So right then and there, I purposed, with GOD'S help, to LEARN to be faithful in that which is least, so that I will also learn to be faithful in that which is much. Thursday morning I got up and straightened, cleaned, de-cluttered, dusted, washed, scrubbed, and so on....Friday morning I got up, and purposed to KEEP it all that way. Every time I see something out of place, even if it's just a scrap of paper, I pick it up and deal with it. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING!!!! In my head I think that this is probably just a phase, and I'll wear out soon and let things slip back into the way things were, but in my HEART I'm crying out to God for his strength to give me victory in this area!! It's been nearly a week and my husband has been telling me I need to slow down on the laundry because his drawers are so full he can barely get them closed!!! =D YAY!!!!!! I know I can't do this on my own, but by God's grace I am focusing on just doing the next right thing every minute, and trying to be faithful in my little tasks.

I know the "little things" in your life may be completely different than mine! Maybe you're a student, and your "little thing" is studying or homework...purpose to do it right away, and to the best of your ability - not stopping for anything until it's done, and done WELL! Maybe you're a babysitter, and your "little thing" is taking care of someone else's children...purpose to put their needs FIRST, even if you feel like putting them down for a nap early so you can watch TV, or just giving them snacks all day instead of the effort of cooking them a healthful meal! Whatever your situation in life, we ALL have "little things" that seem small and insignificant to us, but those things are the training ground where we prepare and prove will you be ready for the BIG THINGS if you can't be trusted in the small ones?!

Purpose with me that by GOD'S GRACE you will locate the little things in you life, and you will conquer them!!!! Whether it's dishes, or math homework, or mowing the lawn, or reading a book to a child, BE FAITHFUL!!!

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;" - Colossians 3:23

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Jehova Jireh...

...the Lord will Provide. Abraham gave this name to God after (as he was raising the knife to take his only son's life) the Lord provided a substitute ram for the sacrifice (Gen. 22:14). The most often used (in my opinion) form of prayer is petition...asking God to provide or do something; however, I don't think we always remember that even before we ask, God is well aware of our need and is more than able to provide.

I had an exciting reminder of that this past weekend! After getting everything paid I had about $20 left in my checking account to pay for groceries, clothes, etc. I had mentioned to Daniel that I was going to need more money soon, but I kind of hated to ask for more because I knew he had some bigger expenses coming up as well. However, just 2 days after that a totally unexpected check showed up, addressed to me, from the hospital! It was quite a large check, and I guess it was from the insurance company over-paying (as that has happened once before). I was so excited!! I hadn't even thought to pray about it yet, but even before it occurred to me to ask, the answer showed up! It made me feel a little ashamed that I hadn't brought that need to God, but I felt so loved to see His provision anyway!

I think we take so many things for granted in our lives that we fail to see the hand of God showering us with little blessings all along the shouldn't take a big reminder like a large check to get us to stop and thank Him each and every day for His provision! I'm trying to be more attuned to that in my life now. :) Also, I think we need to be very sensitive to God's promptings to share our blessings with others in need..."Give, and it shall be given to you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." (Luke 6:38).

Here's a good you go about your life this week, purpose to find at least 1 thing every day that is the direct provision of God for some need in your life. You may think that sounds impossible, because God doesn't just drop $1000 dollar bills into your lap every day! However, I think if we really look, we'll be surprised to see how much God DOES give us!! :) Have a wonderful week of praising and thanking Jehovah Jireh!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sweethearts, All the Way... {Guest Post}

I still see those proverbial two old folks walking hand in hand down a sidewalk, followed by a "today's" couple dragging a little baby along, the women yelling at the man about any number of things. What is the difference here? Why such a dramatic difference in the two? It's not necessarily that one couple is saved, the other not. This question should have driven me more to find the answer. It was not until lately that I was more focused on my relationship with my husband and how I can keep it sweet as the years go by.

1) Who's the leader of the family?

The major difference between the couples is the woman acknowledging and accepting who is the "head". I have developed a major pet peeve - when the woman governs the guy: telling him basically how and when to breath. As I've seen myself developing that fault, I know how very easy it is. Part of it (I say as my excuse) is that my husband needs to know what to do, and be told. He does not naturally show initiative. Did God know there would be some men like that when He gave that commandment?

2) What does love look like?

Every woman would say they love the man in their life. The difference is who is loved more by that woman. It is only expected that a married woman would quickly announce her husband is loved by her the most, and then she would probably continue with "even though he......" Would she sacrifice a want or perceived need she has for her man? When they were in a relationship before, dating, courtship, etc....would she have the same response as she does now? I wouldn't. Does that mean I don't still love? No, but maybe that love has just shifted. Do I love my husband or myself more?

3) Isn't love a two-way street?

Most people have a hard time not living in agreement with love being shown as equal on both sides. It's hard to be selfless and do or say something to or about someone that probably won't return the favor. For me, I have no question of my husband's love for me. We just can show that love in different ways. I shouldn't wait until "my"

kind of love is shown to me before I accept his message and show him love the way he sees it. Women, we need to act on love like we were the only one with it to give, because that is what love is. It does not demand an equal return in a timely fashion.

4) If I only knew then what I know now....

Our perceptions of people often change dramatically depending on how well we know them. "He only takes showers TWICE a month!", "He's ALWAYS working!", or "Can't we EVER go on a date anymore?" Yes, aren't we women so deprived of what we deserve? Get your eyes off your poor little self and focus on your husband's wants and/or needs. "Does she ALWAYS have to insist I wash my hands in the bathroom?", "Does she have to scrapbook or garden when I'm home and want her attention?" or "My thoughts used to feel important to her!"

5) Why?

A quick glance in the mirror seems like an answer to why he treats us the way he does for many. "I've gained a roll or two in my thighs!", "One of my chins wrinkles now!", or "I can't move my body the same in bed". For me anyway, how I look or "perform" doesn't have a lot of effect on my husband's behavior towards me. But how I treat him with honor, respect, or gentle kindness does. How a man's "other half" treats him has much more (or as much) to do with how he looks at or treats her.

This guest post was written by Sarah Tate - a young wife and mother. Sarah and her husband are the proud parents of a 1 year old son, and are expecting their second child in December.

The Heart of Her Husband

I've been thinking a lot lately about the subject of honoring and respecting your husband. I guess the reason it's been on my mind is that I seem to see or hear someone almost everyday (friends, acquaintances, or just random strangers I pass in Wal*Mart) disparaging or mocking their husband. I see it in Facebook statuses, hear it from Christian friends (whom I usually really respect for their godly character), overhear groups of strangers at restaurants, etc.. Most of the time it's said jokingly or tongue-in-cheek, but still my first reaction is "oh your poor husband!" I don't really stop to think about how dumb or bumbling he's been, I just feel sorry for him since he's stuck with a wife who not only thinks he's an idiot, but who also has no qualms spreading her opinion of him far and wide. Now before you all jump on me for trying to suppress women, or make men look perfect and women look like horrible sinners, let me say that is NOT what I think or am trying to say!!! I'm just saying that we are to be the keepers of our husbands' hearts...but how are they supposed to trust us when they're always flinching and waiting for us to tell a group of our girlfriends their latest mistake? Proverbs 31 verses 10 through 12 say (this is from the Amplified version...I thought it stated the heart of the issue very clearly) "(10) A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman -- who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. (11) The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. (12) She comforts, encourages, and only does him good as long as there is life within her." I think verse 12 pretty much sums this up!! If you can fit gossiping about your husband, belittling him for his mistakes, or mocking him in front of your (or worse, HIS!) friends into the guidelines found in that verse, then go to it!! I'm not trying to point fingers or single anyone out, because I know I've been guilty of these things as well. However, I've really been convicted of that and I'm trying hard to only say uplifting, supporting, admiring things about my husband to others.

I know our husbands are NOT perfect and they are GOING to do things that frustrate, annoy, and confuse us! I once heard a speaker who was extolling the virtues of his wife of many years. He said she kept a notebook where she "told God on him" when he had done something she just couldn't handle. Instead of complaining to her mother or friends, or punishing him in some way (and you ladies know we can come up with some pretty cruel ways of "punishing" our husbands when we feel they deserve it!!), she would take her tears and her frustrations to her notebook, and spill it all out to God. I remember being so impressed with that woman's self control and respect for her husband, and the fact that he appreciated her so much that he was bragging about her in front of a large group! Sometimes it's just kind of fun and relieving to whine and gripe and trade stories with our friends, but let's face it ladies; this is NOT a hobby that will make our husbands trust us! If they know that every time they mess up they can expect to read all about it the next day on Facebook (along with all the comments from their wife's, and in many cases, their OWN, friends), do you think that's going to help them open up their heart's dreams, desires, and hopes to us?! I think not. They're just going to pull back in defense of themselves, which is going to make us angry because we feel that they're pushing us away...and in many cases I've seen, women can't for the life of them figure out WHY their husband is growing more and more distant! I think that one of the greatest and most important goals we wives can set for ourselves is to never let a word cross our lips that would make our husbands feel that we don't completely respect, honor, and admire them! They KNOW they're not perfect...but a woman who loves them enough to overlook their offenses and goofs is going to make them willing and eager to walk through FIRE for her!!!

The Biblical model for a marriage (as found in Ephesians chapter 5) is for the wife to submit to her husband, and for the husband to love his wife as much as Christ loves the church. This means that husbands are told to love their wives whether they deserve it or not, but it stands to reason, in my mind at least, that a husband's love for his wife is going to naturally grow deeper, stronger, and more sacrificial if he knows she is willing to deny herself an hour's gossip with friends simply because she wants to show him respect and do everything she can to protect his good name and character.

Now I know some of you may think, "Hey, I don't even have a Christian husband!! There really isn't much to respect or honor about him, so I'm excused." Well, here's what 1 Peter 3 verses 1 and 2 say to Christian women married to unsaved men (again from the Amplified version): "(1) In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, (2) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him -- to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted too, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]".

Please comment and let me know if you think I'm right or wrong...and please remember that I'm NOT trying to single out and humiliate anyone!!!! I'm just writing this as a general observation of ALL of us women (and I certainly do include myself in all of this!!!). Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this issue, and I look forward to hearing yours as well!