A Proposal {Guest Post}

Ha, ha. That title got your attention, didn't it? Well, true, that is what the subject is about, but it may take a different path then you expected. I have been going through the Book of Ruth in a Bible Study with some women, and this week is focusing on the PROPOSAL between Boaz and Ruth.

As I had told my husband (of all times, when he was proposing to me), I felt just the only right way for a guy to ask a girl to be his wife is when he's on one knee. I realize that process isn't the most common thing people do now-a-days, and it often isn't practical providing the observers, location, etc., but it was always just my dream and how I imagined things going. In the study of Ruth this week, her proposal went uhm.... just the wrong way for me!

Let me quickly summarize how things went. Naomi (her mother-in-law from her deceased husband) instructed Ruth to do a list of things:

1) Wash

2) Anoint

3) Dress

4) Lie down

5) See where Boaz slept

6) Uncover his feet

7) Lie down

8) Follow the instructions her then gave

"Wash thyself therefore, and anoint thee, and put thy raiment upon thee, and get thee down to the floor (after he's done eating and drinking...) uncover his feet, and lay thee down..." Ruth 3:3-4

Now, as much as I love my husband, it is very hard for me (even at his request) to take his shoes/socks off after a long day at work and rub his feet. What Ruth did was (remembering Boaz had come from a long day of outside work), uncover his feet, and SLEEP NEXT TO THEM. (It is suggested in this devotional book that Ruth probably had a hard time sleeping because of the trepidation or excitement she had. For me it

would have been the smell.)

My personal thoughts laid aside for a minute, it was a process she was willing to take that showed her humility, something I am sorely in need of. It was a gesture availing herself and trusting him immensely, so they would both remain pure.

Before this event, she had shown her female relative (Naomi) love, respect and care. (She had been gathering wheat to make and sell bread to buy food for meals.) During this event, she was showing a distant male relative pure love and respect. The most distant relative I can think on personally at the moment, are my cousins.

Again, I mean nothing against them as well, but there is absolutely no way on earth that I could muster up enough humility to not only uncover my cousin's feet after a long day of work, but spend all the horrible hours in the night sleeping at his stinky, sweaty, disgusting feet. I have asked my husband to shower after ONE DAY of mowing the lawn for a few hours. I cannot fathom SLEEPING by the feet of my cousin who has gone who knows how many days/weeks without a bath.

This is a great lesson of pure humility and self-sacrifice. God says in Proverbs 22:4 that "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, and honour, and life." With just this scripture, and just this one biblical example, we are shown ways that humility is to be revered and longed for in our lives. Not to gain a husband, as in the story of Ruth, for he first noticed her meek and humble spirit of service, but humility as a means of service towards others.

-- I know of a few friends who don't respect Ruth, and aside from my thoughts on the issue, whatever you think or believe, please only focus on the humility I see in this example --

By the way, not skipping the topic, the book also shared how in that place and time, this action Ruth gave toward Boaz could be considered a honest-to-goodness marriage proposal.

This guest post was written by Sarah Tate - a young wife and mother. Sarah and her husband are the proud parents of a 1 year old son, and are expecting their second child in December.

Sweethearts, All the Way... {Guest Post}

I still see those proverbial two old folks walking hand in hand down a sidewalk, followed by a "today's" couple dragging a little baby along, the women yelling at the man about any number of things. What is the difference here? Why such a dramatic difference in the two? It's not necessarily that one couple is saved, the other not. This question should have driven me more to find the answer. It was not until lately that I was more focused on my relationship with my husband and how I can keep it sweet as the years go by.

1) Who's the leader of the family?

The major difference between the couples is the woman acknowledging and accepting who is the "head". I have developed a major pet peeve - when the woman governs the guy: telling him basically how and when to breath. As I've seen myself developing that fault, I know how very easy it is. Part of it (I say as my excuse) is that my husband needs to know what to do, and be told. He does not naturally show initiative. Did God know there would be some men like that when He gave that commandment?

2) What does love look like?

Every woman would say they love the man in their life. The difference is who is loved more by that woman. It is only expected that a married woman would quickly announce her husband is loved by her the most, and then she would probably continue with "even though he......" Would she sacrifice a want or perceived need she has for her man? When they were in a relationship before, dating, courtship, etc....would she have the same response as she does now? I wouldn't. Does that mean I don't still love? No, but maybe that love has just shifted. Do I love my husband or myself more?

3) Isn't love a two-way street?

Most people have a hard time not living in agreement with love being shown as equal on both sides. It's hard to be selfless and do or say something to or about someone that probably won't return the favor. For me, I have no question of my husband's love for me. We just can show that love in different ways. I shouldn't wait until "my"

kind of love is shown to me before I accept his message and show him love the way he sees it. Women, we need to act on love like we were the only one with it to give, because that is what love is. It does not demand an equal return in a timely fashion.

4) If I only knew then what I know now....

Our perceptions of people often change dramatically depending on how well we know them. "He only takes showers TWICE a month!", "He's ALWAYS working!", or "Can't we EVER go on a date anymore?" Yes, aren't we women so deprived of what we deserve? Get your eyes off your poor little self and focus on your husband's wants and/or needs. "Does she ALWAYS have to insist I wash my hands in the bathroom?", "Does she have to scrapbook or garden when I'm home and want her attention?" or "My thoughts used to feel important to her!"

5) Why?

A quick glance in the mirror seems like an answer to why he treats us the way he does for many. "I've gained a roll or two in my thighs!", "One of my chins wrinkles now!", or "I can't move my body the same in bed". For me anyway, how I look or "perform" doesn't have a lot of effect on my husband's behavior towards me. But how I treat him with honor, respect, or gentle kindness does. How a man's "other half" treats him has much more (or as much) to do with how he looks at or treats her.

This guest post was written by Sarah Tate - a young wife and mother. Sarah and her husband are the proud parents of a 1 year old son, and are expecting their second child in December.