A Lesson From Job for Wives

This past week I attended my uncle's funeral. The pastor (who also happens to be my grandfather) at one point in during the service spoke briefly about Job, and all the challenges he faced..even having his best friends and his own wife turn against him after losing all his children, wealth, and his health.

I've heard the story of Job many, MANY times, so this was nothing new to me. However, one thing DID stand out to me...something I had never noticed before.

To recap the story briefly, Job's "crime" (or the reason that all these terrible things happened to him) was that he was righteous, loved and feared God, and lived his life in a way that was glorifying to God. Satan believed that he was only doing these things because God had blessed and protected him, and that if he were to lose all his wealth and possessions he would curse God and turn away from him. God knew Job's heart, so he gave Satan licence to do whatever he wanted to Job, even taking away his family and his health, as long as he spared Job's life. Satan didn't waste any time in hitting Job where it really hurt, in a single day wiping out all his flocks and herds and almost all his servants (except the few who escaped with

the bad news), and killing his beloved children. Then he covered Job with painful boils.

Now here's the part that really stood out to me this time!

"Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God, and die." Job 2:9

Now, in the very few restrictions God gave Satan, I don't remember reading anything prohibiting Satan from killing Job's wife...after all, he killed all 10 of his children! Therefore, the only conclusion I can come to is that Satan knew that Job's wife, instead of being one of his joys and blessings, would be a stumbling block and discouragement to Job as he struggled to trust God in the midst of his sorrows.

Wow. As wives, we are supposed to be our husband's greatest encouragement, blessing, supporter, listener, friend, confidant, and so much more. If Job's wife had been all these things, don't you think she would have been one of Satan's FIRST targets? Instead, he knew that instead of taking her too, she would do Job more harm and damage if he left her alive!!

I don't know about you, but I know I don't always give my husband the support and encouragement he needs and craves. I tend to be a cruel realist when he comes to me with his plans and dreams, and instead of trying to find ways to encourage him, I'm more likely to shoot down his ideas with all the ways they WON'T work. I've never encouraged him to "curse God

and die," but I don't always encourage him spiritually as much as I could or should.

This new year I want to work harder at being my husband's refuge, where he knows he'll be safe from unnecessary criticism, and where he can always find love, support, and encouragement, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to live in such a way that if Satan were to have the same chance with Daniel that he had with Job, I would be the FIRST one on his list of targets, not the one left behind as a tormentor!!!

If your husband were to honestly describe you as a wife, would he say you were better described by this verse:

"The contentions of a wife are a constant dripping." (Proverbs 19:13b, NASB)

or by this verse:

"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22, KJV)

I think we would all agree on which one we would WANT to be described as. :) Let's all work extra hard this year to be the "good thing."

Slow to Anger

I think we've all been in these rather uncomfortable situations....you're in a store or business and a child is misbehaving. Suddenly, the parent loudly loses control of their emotions and blows up at the kid, yelling at them for misbehaving, threatening them if they don't instantly stop what they're doing, etc. Somehow, to me at least, no matter HOW terribly the kid was acting, my first thought is "oh that poor thing...what a horrible mom/dad!" I know there are lots of other circumstances that come into play which we, the casual observers, know nothing about, but still. We are the ADULTS!! We are supposed to be a good example to our children instead of giving up and screaming at them in anger.

I've always purposed to never be one of "those" parents whom you can hear all the way across the store yelling at their kids for whatever reason. Recently I had a chance to put it to the test...Kaleigh was playing with some toys in a kids' area while I shopped in a consignment store. When it was time to leave I helped her pick up the toys, and then picked her up to carry her out of the store. Her body instantly went rigid and she SCREAMED!!!! I plastered a smile on my face and scurried out trying to save face in front of the other people in the store. When I got to the car, she continued to scream and kick as I pleasantly strapped her into her car seat. When I finally got into my seat, I just sat there for a minute...and I realized that I hadn't gotten angry! I wasn't pleased with her behavior, and I was slightly embarrassed, but I wasn't angry at her. I somehow felt like I had won a victory over myself, even tho I DO need to do some work with Kaleigh about her little attitude!

While I was thinking about this subject, I did a search for verses containing "slow" and "anger." I came up with at least 6 verses in which God is described as being slow to anger...for example, read Nehemiah 9:16-17 - "(16) But they and our fathers dealt proudly, and hardened their necks, and hearkened not to thy commandments, (17) And refused to obey, neither were mindful of thy wonders that thou didst among them; but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a captain to return to their bondage: but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not."

I don't know about you, but had I been in God's place (having spent over 40 years leading an ungrateful, whining, complaining, demanding, unfaithful, disobedient nation around the desert) I probably would have decided enough was enough and just blasted them all to bits!!! However, God in His great mercy is so patient and kind with ALL of us as we stumble, fall back into sin, demand things of Him, and lead ungrateful lives. "It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not." (Lamentations 3:22)

So from now on in my parenting, I am going to try to show patience, mercy, and kindness to Kaleigh and any other children the Lord may give us, in an attempt to reflect the loving way our Father deals with us. I know that children can be VERY disobedient, destructive, and frustrating (and I still believe that loving, Godly discipline should be administered as necessary!!), but we as parents need to temper our actions with love and grace. I really think that this applies to all people in all situations!! Just think what a better place this world would be if everyone stopped before they reacted in anger, and instead chose to be forgiving and gracious?! "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) I know that will never happen world-wide because the world is an imperfect and sinful place, but we as Christians should be doing our best to show the rest of the world the love of Christ, and I think our parenting is one place we could really make an impact!! If they see our children misbehaving and then they see us blow up in anger, how are we any different than every other unsaved parent?! Instead, we should be showing them a better way...God's way.

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" (I Peter 3:15)

Be Faithful in the Little Things

Hello. My name is Rachel, and I am a procrastinator.

Whew. There. I said it...now maybe I can start recovering! :)

Joking aside, I am a HORRIBLE procrastinator!! Those of you who know me probably know I can be very organized and neat...when I feel like it. I just don't usually feel like it! I'm not always a good housekeeper, I prefer to wash the laundry and then leave it in a huge mountain instead of folding it and putting it right away, and I'd much rather spend all day reading a book or keeping up with friends on Facebook than spend all day cleaning the house! My husband on the other hand, is the definition of a neat freak ("freak" being used in the best possible sense of the word...no insult intended! :) ). I'm always embarrassed when he comes home at night and the dishes are piled high, the laundry is piled higher, and Kaleigh's toys and books are spread far and wide...but on those occasions, he comes home after a long day of working, grabs the broom and sweeps, picks up all the toys and clutter, and does it all so quietly and cheerfully it makes me feel like a horrible slob. (Don't get me wrong...I DO clean up sometimes, but it seems more often than not that he comes home and does a good chunk of it!) However, I've somehow convinced myself that keeping the whole house cleaned, laundry done, and Kaleigh fed and cared for is more than one little girl like me can handle!

Then last Wednesday night, Pastor had a really good sermon based on Luke 16:10 - "He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in much...." I've known that verse practically all of my life, but somehow when I heard it last week it really hit and convicted me in an entirely NEW way!!! I suddenly realized that my housework, laundry, etc. SEEMED so little and insignificant to me, and it wasn't a big deal in my book if it didn't always get done right away. However, to my husband (who describes his feelings when he walks into a cluttered room as "claustrophobic"!!), that stuff IS a big deal!!! I had been letting him down in one of the areas that was biggest to him, and dismissing it as little and unimportant. Wow. If I can't be faithful in little things like dishes, laundry, dusting, etc., then how do I expect to be faithful in the BIG things, like raising our daughter to be a God-honoring, diligent, faithful woman??!!

OUCH. So right then and there, I purposed, with GOD'S help, to LEARN to be faithful in that which is least, so that I will also learn to be faithful in that which is much. Thursday morning I got up and straightened, cleaned, de-cluttered, dusted, washed, scrubbed, and so on....Friday morning I got up, and purposed to KEEP it all that way. Every time I see something out of place, even if it's just a scrap of paper, I pick it up and deal with it. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING!!!! In my head I think that this is probably just a phase, and I'll wear out soon and let things slip back into the way things were, but in my HEART I'm crying out to God for his strength to give me victory in this area!! It's been nearly a week and my husband has been telling me I need to slow down on the laundry because his drawers are so full he can barely get them closed!!! =D YAY!!!!!! I know I can't do this on my own, but by God's grace I am focusing on just doing the next right thing every minute, and trying to be faithful in my little tasks.

I know the "little things" in your life may be completely different than mine! Maybe you're a student, and your "little thing" is studying or homework...purpose to do it right away, and to the best of your ability - not stopping for anything until it's done, and done WELL! Maybe you're a babysitter, and your "little thing" is taking care of someone else's children...purpose to put their needs FIRST, even if you feel like putting them down for a nap early so you can watch TV, or just giving them snacks all day instead of the effort of cooking them a healthful meal! Whatever your situation in life, we ALL have "little things" that seem small and insignificant to us, but those things are the training ground where we prepare and prove ourselves...how will you be ready for the BIG THINGS if you can't be trusted in the small ones?!

Purpose with me that by GOD'S GRACE you will locate the little things in you life, and you will conquer them!!!! Whether it's dishes, or math homework, or mowing the lawn, or reading a book to a child, BE FAITHFUL!!!

"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;" - Colossians 3:23

The Heart of Her Husband

I've been thinking a lot lately about the subject of honoring and respecting your husband. I guess the reason it's been on my mind is that I seem to see or hear someone almost everyday (friends, acquaintances, or just random strangers I pass in Wal*Mart) disparaging or mocking their husband. I see it in Facebook statuses, hear it from Christian friends (whom I usually really respect for their godly character), overhear groups of strangers at restaurants, etc.. Most of the time it's said jokingly or tongue-in-cheek, but still my first reaction is "oh your poor husband!" I don't really stop to think about how dumb or bumbling he's been, I just feel sorry for him since he's stuck with a wife who not only thinks he's an idiot, but who also has no qualms spreading her opinion of him far and wide. Now before you all jump on me for trying to suppress women, or make men look perfect and women look like horrible sinners, let me say that is NOT what I think or am trying to say!!! I'm just saying that we are to be the keepers of our husbands' hearts...but how are they supposed to trust us when they're always flinching and waiting for us to tell a group of our girlfriends their latest mistake? Proverbs 31 verses 10 through 12 say (this is from the Amplified version...I thought it stated the heart of the issue very clearly) "(10) A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman -- who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. (11) The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. (12) She comforts, encourages, and only does him good as long as there is life within her." I think verse 12 pretty much sums this up!! If you can fit gossiping about your husband, belittling him for his mistakes, or mocking him in front of your (or worse, HIS!) friends into the guidelines found in that verse, then go to it!! I'm not trying to point fingers or single anyone out, because I know I've been guilty of these things as well. However, I've really been convicted of that and I'm trying hard to only say uplifting, supporting, admiring things about my husband to others.

I know our husbands are NOT perfect and they are GOING to do things that frustrate, annoy, and confuse us! I once heard a speaker who was extolling the virtues of his wife of many years. He said she kept a notebook where she "told God on him" when he had done something she just couldn't handle. Instead of complaining to her mother or friends, or punishing him in some way (and you ladies know we can come up with some pretty cruel ways of "punishing" our husbands when we feel they deserve it!!), she would take her tears and her frustrations to her notebook, and spill it all out to God. I remember being so impressed with that woman's self control and respect for her husband, and the fact that he appreciated her so much that he was bragging about her in front of a large group! Sometimes it's just kind of fun and relieving to whine and gripe and trade stories with our friends, but let's face it ladies; this is NOT a hobby that will make our husbands trust us! If they know that every time they mess up they can expect to read all about it the next day on Facebook (along with all the comments from their wife's, and in many cases, their OWN, friends), do you think that's going to help them open up their heart's dreams, desires, and hopes to us?! I think not. They're just going to pull back in defense of themselves, which is going to make us angry because we feel that they're pushing us away...and in many cases I've seen, women can't for the life of them figure out WHY their husband is growing more and more distant! I think that one of the greatest and most important goals we wives can set for ourselves is to never let a word cross our lips that would make our husbands feel that we don't completely respect, honor, and admire them! They KNOW they're not perfect...but a woman who loves them enough to overlook their offenses and goofs is going to make them willing and eager to walk through FIRE for her!!!

The Biblical model for a marriage (as found in Ephesians chapter 5) is for the wife to submit to her husband, and for the husband to love his wife as much as Christ loves the church. This means that husbands are told to love their wives whether they deserve it or not, but it stands to reason, in my mind at least, that a husband's love for his wife is going to naturally grow deeper, stronger, and more sacrificial if he knows she is willing to deny herself an hour's gossip with friends simply because she wants to show him respect and do everything she can to protect his good name and character.

Now I know some of you may think, "Hey, I don't even have a Christian husband!! There really isn't much to respect or honor about him, so I'm excused." Well, here's what 1 Peter 3 verses 1 and 2 say to Christian women married to unsaved men (again from the Amplified version): "(1) In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, (2) When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him -- to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted too, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]".

Please comment and let me know if you think I'm right or wrong...and please remember that I'm NOT trying to single out and humiliate anyone!!!! I'm just writing this as a general observation of ALL of us women (and I certainly do include myself in all of this!!!). Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this issue, and I look forward to hearing yours as well!